Friday, May 11, 2012

♪All you need is love...♪

"We don't yet see things clearly.  We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.  But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright!  We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: 
Trust steadily in God,
hope unswervingly,
love extravagantly.
And the best of these three is love."
1 Corinthians 13: 12-13 (The Message)


I admit it.  I've had a crappy week.  Worried about Benny, caught up in a sea of emotions that I just thought I had put behind me, I've been a "case" (Mark-terminology). 

Why?  I consider myself to be a pretty smart cookie.  I've been a Christian since age 11, when I accepted Jesus as my Savior at a revival in my little home church in Mayfield, KY.  I've seen first hand the miracles God has worked in my life. 

He brought me through a very rough time early in my life.  He packed up a man in Nebraska, and moved him to Murray, KY, in 1986, to attend graduate school, plopped him into one of my classes, and the rest, as they say, is history.  He gave me two perfect sons, born without complications to two self-proclaimed "old farts" (Mark's term, again), whenever I was aged 38 and 40.  He's carried AJ, Ben, and I as we've struggled with the loss of Mark.  He's surrounded me with loving family, beloved friends, a support system that hasn't failed us yet.  He can do anything. 

But, in this, my crappy week, I've questioned Him.  Why couldn't my God, who can do anything, save Mark last July?  Why have I been left a widow, with two little boys to raise on my own?  Why? 

I'm not really expecting any answers.  There are none that would satisfy me, anyway.  And then I stumble across the scripture above.  AJ, Ben, and I (and Mark's mom, my mom, extended family, coworkers, friends, peers) are all squinting through the fog, trying to make some sense out of the circumstances we've been dealt.  Only whenever the sun breaks through, and the fog dissipates will we see things clearly....will we understand why Mark's already in heaven.  And that time will be when I get to heaven (hopefully a good 40 years or so from now).

Mother's Day is Sunday.  My sweet boys wanted to get me something.  Knowing my unabashed love for all things James Avery, they suggest I go pick something out.  I've had my eye on a ring.  It's been a part of their collection for years.  It has the words "FAITH  HOPE  LOVE" inscribed around its circumference, with a heart, a cross, and an anchor separating the words. 


I decided I needed a reminder of that scripture, since it stands for all that I believe matters in this world.  I love the Message's translation of verse 13:  "trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly."

As I look at that message on my finger, where I seem to twirl it incessantly, I am reminded to live that way.  In all things I do, I am called to have faith, hope, and love. 

And if I'm truly living that, I can't stay in a crappy mood for long.

I'm looking forward to my Mother's Day weekend.  I have much to be thankful for.  
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Christmas, 2012

Christmas, 2012